About a month or so ago, I stumbled on a new project that really got me fired up. It was a personal project that I knew would be challenging in the most vulnerable way, but I proceeded anyway. I did everything one would do when starting a new project. I bought necessary supplies. Read up on all my to do’s. I even solicited a few compadres to keep me accountable.
The Secret Project
The first day of the challenge finally arrived, and I was filled with so much excitement and anticipation about what was about to transpire. I just knew this project was about to be the jump off-point for something wonderful. I completed the first day’s challenge without a hitch. I was giving myself fist pumps and pats on the back.
Day #2 arrived, greeted by an already dwindling enthusiasm level. And, by the end of the week, my covert project had already come to a screeching halt. Every ounce of enthusiasm I once had, was gone. I abruptly surmised the project wasn’t going anywhere and decided to move on to something else.
Except I couldn’t move on. Instead, I was faced with the glaring realization that my motivation for pursuing this project was way off course given that I was so easily swayed by feelings and emotions.
A Car in Need of a Tune-Up
My Passat will be eight years old this year. She still rides as nice as she did on that first day I happily drove off the car lot intoxicated by the new car smell. Even though she’s old, I’m pretty content with driving her until she can’t drive no more. While I don’t have a car note, the old girl does require a tune-up every now and then. It doesn’t mean that anything’s wrong with her. It’s just a precautionary measure to make sure she keeps going and going and going, just like the Energizer bunny.
I realize I’m like my car right about now. I need a tune-up. Specifically, a love tune-up.
You see, that secret project—it was the Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man on Purpose and With a Plan by Kathy Lipp. I devoured that book on the first read and loved every single bit of it. So, how did it all go so wrong, so quickly? The bad part is that I can’t even remember. I know that hubbie did something to tick me off, but for the life of me, I can’t recall the offensive action. Super mature, right?
The Love Tune-Up
I’d love to tell y’all that I have it all together, all the time, but I can’t. In my head, I know my love for someone shouldn’t be dependent on what that person does or doesn’t do to me or for me. But knowing and doing are two completely different things. The redeeming factor, if I can borrow the words of Steve Harvey, is that “God ain’t through with me yet.”
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (I Corinthians 13:4-8 NASB)
Over the next few months, using this critical take on love from the Bible, I’ll be diving into what it really means to love. Each Tuesday, I plan to tackle one of these 16 love definitions. I have no clue what these posts will look like and feel totally inadequate to be taking on such a heavy topic. I’m completely relying on God to remind me what His perfect love looks like, reveal my weaknesses in each of these areas and show me where and how to change. I’m only tackling one aspect each week because I know I’m going to need some practical application time (especially in that area of patience…can I get an Amen!).
Love God, love people—that’s ultimately what we’re here to do. I’m praying that these next few months will radicalize (yep, totally made that word up) my life, as well as yours. If we could all get this love thing down, just imagine the power we’d have to strengthen and transform our relationships with our spouses, kids, family members, friends, and even ourselves. I so hope you stick around and join me on this journey.
The Love Tune-Up Schedule: Love is…
- September 4 – Patient
- September 11 – Kind
- September 18 – Not Jealous
- September 25 – Does Not Brag
- October 2 – Is Not Arrogant
- October 9 – Does Not Act Unbecomingly
- October 16 – Does Not Seek Its Own
- October 23 – Is Not Provoked
- October 30 – Does Not Take Into Account a Wrong Suffered
- November 6 – Does Not Rejoice in Unrighteousness
- November 13 – Rejoices With the Truth
- November 20 – Bears All Things
- November 27 – Believes All Things
- December 4 – Hopes All Things
- December 11 – Endures All Things
- December 18 – Love Never Fails (How fitting is it that this last week ends on Christmas Eve? God’s intentional like that if you didn’t already know.)
Girl, I so understand where you are. I’ll be sure to tune in on Tuesdays! I found super cute blog that you should visit. Great date ideas and just ways to keep the spice in marriage. We all need a little help sometimes!
http://www.thedatingdivas.com/
Spice is nice!! I’ll have to check out that site. It sounds like a winner.
I was just thinking the other day about the hubby challenge and wondering if anyone else fell off as quickly as I did! I’m not condoning it, but I totally understand how it happens!
I love the Love Tune Up! It’s going on my vision board! I’m in it to win it with you on this one Kacey!
Yeah!! For my next project, I’m reorganizing our master closet, and one of the things I want to add is a vision board. I think that’s such a fantastic idea to remind yourself about what you’re aiming for.
Ok, you’re reading my mail!!! :):)
As I was walking with my sisters yesterday, one of them told us about a funeral she attended last Friday. The minister read as the eulogy a note that the person–who had passed after a bout with cancer–wrote one day as she was going through chemotherapy. In her note to her loved ones she wrote, “Be sure you always forgive”.
As we continued to talk I mentioned how I am able to generally get along with everybody BUT one person. It’s amazing how this person tends to annoy me, and I really don’t know how it all began. Is this something that we all experience? It’s definitely not a good feeling, and it’s definitely something I want to dismiss from my life. I enjoy life too much to have this one cloud hanging over my head!
So I’ll make a copy of your challenge and post it here at my desk where I can see it every day and put it to work. I believe God is trying to tell us something. I’m definitely up for the challenge!
(FYI, I don’t know of any married person who has not experienced what you are going through. I once heard a minister say, “God said the two shall become one…it’s the BECOMING that’s the biggest challenge!”
Isn’t it funny how there’s always at least that one. I think it’s good though when we’re able to recognize that about ourselves and are willing to do something about it.